Single or Taken?

How do I say I'm single coz I haven't found the one without sounding defensive to people around me?

I have always loved being single... I mean, it's not bad as it looks like. I was born alone so I don't see any reason why being single is like a stigma to people. I like going to cinemas alone or shopping or travelling or just doing the grocery without anyone.

I don't hate the idea of ending up with someone. I guess it's me being idealistic. I wanted to enjoy singlehood so when I found THE ONE, the thing they called SINGLE BLESSEDNESS won't be a big question to me. That I was able to enjoy things alone first without worrying anything or anyone.

That's it. Maybe that's the problem. I treat it as a hassle. A worry. Which shouldn't be in the first place. Having THE ONE should be bliss. A lifetime happiness.

I wasn't born rich. Things weren't served to me in a silver platter. My mother died years ago, and life was hard for me then. Not just for me but for my family as well. Financially, and yes emotionally.

I am turning 25 this September. I'll be attending weddings of my colleagues this year. People now start asking me questions WHEN and WHY. I gained weight after college and people who haven't seen me in a while thought I had a child and worse, a miscarriage (yes, people are sometimes that mean or blunt). And some of my acquaintances would give me this strange look whenever I tell them my dream to travel somewhere solo. Sometimes even my friends, after telling me how hard it is to raise a child and be somehow miserable with their significant other, ask me when is my turn?

Again, if it wasn’t clear for them, I’m happy being single. Yes there are nights I wish I have someone to cuddle, to embrace, and to care aside from my friends and family. But being the practical that I am, I always resort to the idea that “at least I have this, and that” excuses.

People would say those are my excuses to hide my flaws. Basically, they are correct. I’m not perfect. I have the body of a GOD (BUDDHA is a GOD right?). My skin isn’t fairly white. I can’t just spend money without thinking a thousand times if I need it or if I just want it. I don’t have the prettiest hair a girl can dream of. Mine is curly so I have no choice but to deal with it.

But that is exactly my point why I chose not to have one. I know life is hard so I want to make sure my family will be settled first more than anything else. I owe them for that. I still somehow wanted to lose weight for health reasons. I want to have that feeling that I can just buy this and that without thinking if my money will be enough until my next salary. And my hair and my skin? I want to improve them not because I want to be perfect for someone but I want to improve myself.

I know people who had bunch of kids and although they are happy because they are now a family of their own. But they can’t even send these kids to the best school because their salary isn’t enough to cover for their basic needs. Some even experience eating more than twice a day because they need to budget their finances. I want to be ready.

I know girls who cried a thousand times because their guy left them. I know girls whom guys treated them as doormats. I hate to say this, but I think things won’t be like that if they didn’t allow it I the first place.

I love babies but not kids. I never liked the idea of running around following them telling them to slow down or eat this or change their diapers. I’m not prepared for that. The idea of them being makulit scares me. I might lose my patience and hit them in the end and that’s another story.

Being in a relationship isn't like “okay lang yan, for fun lang” for me, it’s a commitment. It should be a responsible commitment between two consenting adults. Both of you should be equipped emotionally, physically, and mentally. As well as having a child. You are raising a kid for heaven’s sake! As parents, you should be responsible enough before giving life, both of you should be smart enough the consequences of being unprotected. I wasn’t naïve for pre-marital sex. It does happen. But make sure you are protected if you’re not ready to be a parent. It’s easy to give life, but it takes a lot of effort to be called a parent.

I know how it’s like to go into some sort of battle without being fully equipped. 90% or more, you’ll lose. There are things better unplanned. But this one is not for me. I want to make sure if I have the ONE, he doesn’t need to ask for my schedule just for him to see me. I want to make sure my family doesn’t need to worry about money anymore. I want to make sure if I’ll have my own family, we would have answers, enough guidance to our kids. And lastly, I want to make sure they no longer need to fight for my attention because those are already finished. And that would be the day “I’m ready”….

People Of The Year 2010

I was inspired by Bianca Gonzales’ about her people of the year. So I decided to create my own list as well…

1. Friday Girls meet Kei, Mic and Teejay.

When I was still in MCC, we always go out during Fridays to keep our mind off from work. We try new restaurants, new places, new coffee shops to hang out. They are also one of the reasons why it was hard for me to leave MCC because the bond we created was surely one thing I'd miss once I leave MCC.






2. Gazelles

It is indeed true that work may suck, but you will find friends that would make you stay at work. Gazelles and I weren't close before. I even thought of resigning because of them. But one fine day and I found myself joking, laughing, and even travelling with them.







3. My Teletech Girls

I was quite depressed when I left MCC. I practically miss everyone there. From my wavemates, friday girls and even gazelles. It all changed when me and my team mates decided to eat out after shift. Then from eating it was singing and now, just like mcc, travelling or trying new things together. Some of them may leave the company, it is nice to think that we are now considering one another as friends.





4. My soul sister Rachel and best friend Wally.

These are the two people I can talk to for hours anytime and anywhere of the day. We may have our own misunderstanding from time to time but the friendship we manage to keep seven years ago is enough to keep us continuing for more.








5. My great friends Glaiza, Jonah, Majo and Che-an.

These girls are exceptional. I so love them up to the tiniest details. We have our own lives to live but with them, that doesn't mean going through things alone.







6. Byahilo Enrico Dee or Kuya Eric

is the brain behind Byahilo.com. Because of him, my interest to travel or to explore things has been enhanced greatly. I am used to travelling ever since because of my mom who worked in a travel agency. Anyways Kuya Eric has always been so passionate about travelling and discovering different festivals in the country.






7. My two sisters, Tintin and Carcar

Ate tin and Ate car are the wind beneath my wings. They, together with Tatay are one of the reasons why I work hard. I want to give them the life Mama promised. With them, the cliche applies, One for all, all for one.




8. Him

The only person who gave me stress in a huge way should be included in my People of the year list. I only have parting words for him. Just because I'm larger than the average, doesn't mean my capacity to absorb your rudeness and insults are also the same. I'm still human, so to speak. Which means, I still feel down because never in my entire life did I feel insecure nor less about my weight. But to hear those from you? I practically know you for almost half of my life and I was so stupid for letting you hurt me like that. Thank God for best friends. After a night of drinking and crying, they made me realize things which are way too better than you.






9. My Mama

It’s been eight years since I last saw her. But the pain is still there, it’s just that it is set aside and I just got used to it. It was like half of me died when she died. Too bad she’s already gone when I had my job And it pained me knowing I wasn’t able to let her experience the fruit of my labor.







10. My godsons Sebbie, Kalli and Royce.

Since I was studying I don’t easily agree to be a godmother. For me, being a godmother is being a second parent to the child not because of their financial status but the parents trust them that these people can guide their kids.

Sebbie is the son of my college barkada, Marjorie while Kalli is Asel’s son, a wavemate of mine back in MCC and Royce, my team mates youngest son. I was chosen to be their ninang because I was with their respective moms most of the time of their pregnancy.




So there… My people of the year 2010…. Enjoy reading!

friends

sometimes in life, there are are bonds formed that can never be broken...

sometimes, you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what...

maybe, you'll find it in a spouse, and celebrate it with your dream wedding...

but there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime ...

that one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along

in my case, I didn't have one.. not two but four friends who managed to keep up with me seven years ago.. Four friends with whom we may have lost contact with, but still the bond is still there...

thank you bestfriend wally, my soul sister rachel, my great friend jona, and my girl buddy glaiza...

and for majo and che an... super thanks for also being there for me despite your busy schedules and different priorities you have proven we are friends for keeps...

I love you mga tol ♥