I was browsing the net a while ago, when I chanced upon seeing a friend tweeted (tweeted is a jargon from twitter meaning they sent a message) about a song she just heard...
It was an old song from church... and this song never fail to give me creeps specially if you are really praying solemnly.. just wanted to share this with you.. (",)
I just remembered it's the lenten season... time for some reflections people..
LORD I OFFER MY LIFE TO YOU...
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
(Verse 2)
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, alll of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you
(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
(Bridge)
What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we're living
That's what we give to you, Lord
(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
Lord I offer you my life
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tagaytay
I was busy checking my profile two weeks ago, when I felt this sudden need to go somewhere outside the city. Then I started planning my get away. I sent an sms to my friends and due to work schedules; it was only Rachel who agreed (same old thing). I was torn between Laguna or Tagaytay because of its proximity and of course the budget. Then Rachel told me that just go to Tagaytay, we could just rent a room and roam around the city, so I said yes.
January 30, off to Tagaytay. Even though this is just an overnight thing, still I’m excited. We promised we wont talk about work and will just enjoy everything and would not mind anything. We arrived around 12 noon and had lunch at Max’s beside the famous Leslie’s. After a sumptuous meal, we headed off and looked for a place to stay. I made some research about hotels in Tagaytay and I found nothing that would fit our budget. We are both tired until we found a suite just right in front of Leslie’s, Twin Pines Suites.
Although a bit pricey, the ambience is really different. It’s more of an ancestral house and very homey in effect. I insisted to stay there. And besides, the receptionist was so friendly and pretty and nice.
Our room was called Japanese Pines. It has this huge window that you would have a nice view of Tagaytay. Our package comes with the usual, complimentary breakfast and you’ll have a choice if you’ll have Filipino, American or Intercontinental breakfast. We chose the American breakfast which mainly consist of hotdogs, bacon and ham. For a touch of Filipino, we chose hot chocolate that’s so sweet but no hint of sugar was added! Anyways, after we made sure our things were settled, we went to the grove, we toured, watched people doing the zip and riding those smelly horse we bought some souvenirs then went to our dinner at RSM.
RSM is a restaurant which mainly serves Filipino dishes. We had Pork Bicol Express, Pork Sinigang, and Tanigue Steak. The menu was quite expensive but nevertheless, I don’t mind spending a few pesos as long as they would make sure I’ll have a good food.
Ambience wise, I would give it an 8 out of 10 rate. Nice interior, feels like I’m in a huge antique house. They were very consistent with the interiors, the uniform of the waiters and the food. Each serving would cost Php250 to Php300 but it is enough to feed 2 to 3 person per dish. I also liked what they served me, freshly squeezed orange juice. They also have live band for the young generation but they also have this group of singers complete with Filipiniana outfit to serenade you.
At nine in the evening, we went back to the suite because we have a schedule with the masseuse. It would take an hour and a half to finish the whole must have massage. I have always been a massage enthusiast. After a strenuous day at work, it would be nice to relax, to clear your mind off of things. I chose Swedish massage with green tea oil. The masseur was also approachable and I even got her number for home service. The massage was heaven I felt like sleeping forever but I watched for my favorite shows first then dozed off.
Morning came; I woke up still relaxed because of the massage. For a while, I resented the idea of going back to reality. That we need to work, and face the harshness of life. But then I thought, It is my bread and butter so get off my butt on the next to goodness comfy bed then headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
Our breakfast was served at the roof deck and Rachel and I had a nice view of the place. Still a bit chilly but milder compared to last night. As we ordered and some leftovers from last night’s dinner, we had a blast. While having breakfast, we also exchanged few words with the hotel’s owner. She was down to earth, and she was clearly happy that someone enjoys their stay at their place. We thanked her again for the free extras because supposedly, we ordered that was not in the menu, in short, we had special requests and she gladly obliged
After the hearty meal, we went back to the suite and prepared our things. We said goodbyes to the old couple (owner) and the pretty and simple receptionist. Definitely, if ever I’ll go back and need to stay in Tagaytay, I would still consider staying there again.
January 30, off to Tagaytay. Even though this is just an overnight thing, still I’m excited. We promised we wont talk about work and will just enjoy everything and would not mind anything. We arrived around 12 noon and had lunch at Max’s beside the famous Leslie’s. After a sumptuous meal, we headed off and looked for a place to stay. I made some research about hotels in Tagaytay and I found nothing that would fit our budget. We are both tired until we found a suite just right in front of Leslie’s, Twin Pines Suites.
Although a bit pricey, the ambience is really different. It’s more of an ancestral house and very homey in effect. I insisted to stay there. And besides, the receptionist was so friendly and pretty and nice.
Our room was called Japanese Pines. It has this huge window that you would have a nice view of Tagaytay. Our package comes with the usual, complimentary breakfast and you’ll have a choice if you’ll have Filipino, American or Intercontinental breakfast. We chose the American breakfast which mainly consist of hotdogs, bacon and ham. For a touch of Filipino, we chose hot chocolate that’s so sweet but no hint of sugar was added! Anyways, after we made sure our things were settled, we went to the grove, we toured, watched people doing the zip and riding those smelly horse we bought some souvenirs then went to our dinner at RSM.
RSM is a restaurant which mainly serves Filipino dishes. We had Pork Bicol Express, Pork Sinigang, and Tanigue Steak. The menu was quite expensive but nevertheless, I don’t mind spending a few pesos as long as they would make sure I’ll have a good food.
Ambience wise, I would give it an 8 out of 10 rate. Nice interior, feels like I’m in a huge antique house. They were very consistent with the interiors, the uniform of the waiters and the food. Each serving would cost Php250 to Php300 but it is enough to feed 2 to 3 person per dish. I also liked what they served me, freshly squeezed orange juice. They also have live band for the young generation but they also have this group of singers complete with Filipiniana outfit to serenade you.
At nine in the evening, we went back to the suite because we have a schedule with the masseuse. It would take an hour and a half to finish the whole must have massage. I have always been a massage enthusiast. After a strenuous day at work, it would be nice to relax, to clear your mind off of things. I chose Swedish massage with green tea oil. The masseur was also approachable and I even got her number for home service. The massage was heaven I felt like sleeping forever but I watched for my favorite shows first then dozed off.
Morning came; I woke up still relaxed because of the massage. For a while, I resented the idea of going back to reality. That we need to work, and face the harshness of life. But then I thought, It is my bread and butter so get off my butt on the next to goodness comfy bed then headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
Our breakfast was served at the roof deck and Rachel and I had a nice view of the place. Still a bit chilly but milder compared to last night. As we ordered and some leftovers from last night’s dinner, we had a blast. While having breakfast, we also exchanged few words with the hotel’s owner. She was down to earth, and she was clearly happy that someone enjoys their stay at their place. We thanked her again for the free extras because supposedly, we ordered that was not in the menu, in short, we had special requests and she gladly obliged
After the hearty meal, we went back to the suite and prepared our things. We said goodbyes to the old couple (owner) and the pretty and simple receptionist. Definitely, if ever I’ll go back and need to stay in Tagaytay, I would still consider staying there again.
Friday, March 26, 2010
For You ...
This was my letter to mama before i finished college. Just saw this from my files...
Ma,
Kamusta ka na diyan? Ok ka lang ba?? Well, ako graduating na sa wednesday, March 28, 2007… Madami na naman ang magbabago… Four years ago, nung nawala ka, ang daming nagbago.. like at a very early age of 16, i had to learn things in a hard way… that sometimes, things are beyond your control.. i went to college feeling empty.. good thing i met this great people whom i now consider my treasures.. i think you already know them… Wally (my bestfriend), Rachel, Maricar, Vanessa, and Jonabelle… oh i almost forgot, the latest addition, si Kristine.. forever thankful ako sa mga taong ito for they helped me during those times when i felt na i had no one… Specially wally, up to now, i still can’t believe that of all people, he chose me to tell his secrets firsts before the barkada would know… Si rachel naman was the only person i know that values her family so much that just by teasing her you can make her cry.. and of course, Icay, nessa, jona and tintin, the friendship built between us was something that you wouldn’t find everyday.
gagraduate na ako ma, after this, world of the unemployed naman ang haharapin ko.. when i finish highschool, hindi lang nakakatakot na college life ang hinarap ko… hinarap ko din yung buhay na hindi ka na namin kasama… yung buhay na aasa ako sa ibang tao para maipagpatuloy ko yung pag aaral ko kasi hindi ako kayang pag aralin ni tatay.. not that i am complaining dahil tatay wasn’t able to give us the life that both of you wanted for us to have… i’ll be forever grateful kasi siya ang tatay ko.. kahit there are times na hindi ko siya maintindihan, namin nila ate why is he like that. For without tatay, hindi ako mabubuhay… hindi ako mag eexist…Mahal na mahal ko si tatay, no one could attest that…
ma, i wanted to say thanks din kila tito tam, tito bert, tita arlene, tita irene, tita cecil at tita bebing for they helped me financially in my college years… lalo na si tito bert, kahit na dumami ang kamaganak niya since he now works in dubai, and he’s earning quite well, eh hindi niya kinalimutan na may pamilya na naiwan yung kapatid niya.. si tito tam, even thouh he’s in dubai na, his presence are still felt dahil sa mga words of wisdom na iniwan niya sa akin… si tita irene na sobrang sinuportahan ako sa lahat ng bagay na ginawa ko walang tanong tanong basta alam niya na kailangan ko, magbibigay siya agad… kay tita arlene who served as my second mother kapag may tanong ako sa sarili ko… si tita cecil and tita bebing who never stopped giving me endless guidelines in life… Si tito ronie, tito boy, tito rod, and their family for being there for me and my sisters… sa siblings din ni tatay specially tito inday, tito jesse and tita susan, sa pagbibigay ng tulong sa allowance ko…
mama you once said na kaya mong mawala ang lahat wag lang kaming tatlo.. does it mean you prefer na ikaw ang mauna sa amin dahil hindi mo kaya na kami ang mauna?? again, gagraduate na ako ma, four years ago, in your wake, hindi ko pa masyadong nararamdaman ang pagkawala mo… i just assumed na you’re out of town, doing some work.. pero ngayon, everytime may makikita ako that would remind me of you, ngayon ko lang narealize, no words can expressed how much i am missing you, and the sad thing about it is that i can’t do anything para mabawasan o magsubside yung nararamdaman ko.. yes, gagraduate ako dahil sa pinagsama samang tulong ng pamilya mo generally, and tatay… oo masarap sa pakiramdam nila na sa wakas, ang bunso ni Inday mimie ay tapos na.. achievement oo… they would be proud of me… and i know that.. although tatay is still alive and kicking and will do everything for me and my ate’s… there is no way na mararamdaman ko pa how proud you will be because finally, after 16 years of studying.. from nursery to college, your youngest has now a profession of her own… there is no way i would be able to feel your hug whenever you want to cuddle me… there is no way i would be able to make you smile because of the silly stuffs i do… and there is no way i can make myself stop from feeling hurting of losing you…
Missing You So Much,
Angie
Ma,
Kamusta ka na diyan? Ok ka lang ba?? Well, ako graduating na sa wednesday, March 28, 2007… Madami na naman ang magbabago… Four years ago, nung nawala ka, ang daming nagbago.. like at a very early age of 16, i had to learn things in a hard way… that sometimes, things are beyond your control.. i went to college feeling empty.. good thing i met this great people whom i now consider my treasures.. i think you already know them… Wally (my bestfriend), Rachel, Maricar, Vanessa, and Jonabelle… oh i almost forgot, the latest addition, si Kristine.. forever thankful ako sa mga taong ito for they helped me during those times when i felt na i had no one… Specially wally, up to now, i still can’t believe that of all people, he chose me to tell his secrets firsts before the barkada would know… Si rachel naman was the only person i know that values her family so much that just by teasing her you can make her cry.. and of course, Icay, nessa, jona and tintin, the friendship built between us was something that you wouldn’t find everyday.
gagraduate na ako ma, after this, world of the unemployed naman ang haharapin ko.. when i finish highschool, hindi lang nakakatakot na college life ang hinarap ko… hinarap ko din yung buhay na hindi ka na namin kasama… yung buhay na aasa ako sa ibang tao para maipagpatuloy ko yung pag aaral ko kasi hindi ako kayang pag aralin ni tatay.. not that i am complaining dahil tatay wasn’t able to give us the life that both of you wanted for us to have… i’ll be forever grateful kasi siya ang tatay ko.. kahit there are times na hindi ko siya maintindihan, namin nila ate why is he like that. For without tatay, hindi ako mabubuhay… hindi ako mag eexist…Mahal na mahal ko si tatay, no one could attest that…
ma, i wanted to say thanks din kila tito tam, tito bert, tita arlene, tita irene, tita cecil at tita bebing for they helped me financially in my college years… lalo na si tito bert, kahit na dumami ang kamaganak niya since he now works in dubai, and he’s earning quite well, eh hindi niya kinalimutan na may pamilya na naiwan yung kapatid niya.. si tito tam, even thouh he’s in dubai na, his presence are still felt dahil sa mga words of wisdom na iniwan niya sa akin… si tita irene na sobrang sinuportahan ako sa lahat ng bagay na ginawa ko walang tanong tanong basta alam niya na kailangan ko, magbibigay siya agad… kay tita arlene who served as my second mother kapag may tanong ako sa sarili ko… si tita cecil and tita bebing who never stopped giving me endless guidelines in life… Si tito ronie, tito boy, tito rod, and their family for being there for me and my sisters… sa siblings din ni tatay specially tito inday, tito jesse and tita susan, sa pagbibigay ng tulong sa allowance ko…
mama you once said na kaya mong mawala ang lahat wag lang kaming tatlo.. does it mean you prefer na ikaw ang mauna sa amin dahil hindi mo kaya na kami ang mauna?? again, gagraduate na ako ma, four years ago, in your wake, hindi ko pa masyadong nararamdaman ang pagkawala mo… i just assumed na you’re out of town, doing some work.. pero ngayon, everytime may makikita ako that would remind me of you, ngayon ko lang narealize, no words can expressed how much i am missing you, and the sad thing about it is that i can’t do anything para mabawasan o magsubside yung nararamdaman ko.. yes, gagraduate ako dahil sa pinagsama samang tulong ng pamilya mo generally, and tatay… oo masarap sa pakiramdam nila na sa wakas, ang bunso ni Inday mimie ay tapos na.. achievement oo… they would be proud of me… and i know that.. although tatay is still alive and kicking and will do everything for me and my ate’s… there is no way na mararamdaman ko pa how proud you will be because finally, after 16 years of studying.. from nursery to college, your youngest has now a profession of her own… there is no way i would be able to feel your hug whenever you want to cuddle me… there is no way i would be able to make you smile because of the silly stuffs i do… and there is no way i can make myself stop from feeling hurting of losing you…
Missing You So Much,
Angie
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Friday Group
THEY SAY YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOU FIND FRIENDS AT WORK.
I guess I was lucky then. I found group of friends whom I thought then that I wouldn't get along with. They were girly, prim and likes to wear dresses. But the day we stepped on production, things changed.
I first met them during first day in training. They were all seated on the other side of the room.
Teejay, was a sight to behold. She has this childish smile and a classic sense of style. Very soft spoken and friendly as well.
Kei on the other hand, seating beside Teejay was also observant, also pretty and her eyes seems smiling all the time.
Mic of course was the brainy girl on the right. If teejay is soft spoken, so is Mic.
But Mic and i have something in common. We love writing. It is her passion.
and who would forget Allie girl? the newest addition to the Friday group.
she was also my seatmate during training. She seems reserved at first but really jolly once you get along.
Production came, since the class got so attached with one another, we decided to still continue the bonding. That's where the friday group was formed.
Friday group mainly consist of me, teejay, kei, mic and allie. we just liked the idea of bonding after a hard day at work. allie joined us after we kept on posting updates in facebook how happy we were.
friday group does a lot of talking about everything. from hearsays to dreams to plans.
just because we like eating in a restaurant doesn't mean we're brats. you have no idea how mature yet childish our conversations are.
these girls, may not be my bestfriend.. but we are good friends... for life (",)
I guess I was lucky then. I found group of friends whom I thought then that I wouldn't get along with. They were girly, prim and likes to wear dresses. But the day we stepped on production, things changed.
I first met them during first day in training. They were all seated on the other side of the room.
Teejay, was a sight to behold. She has this childish smile and a classic sense of style. Very soft spoken and friendly as well.
Kei on the other hand, seating beside Teejay was also observant, also pretty and her eyes seems smiling all the time. Mic of course was the brainy girl on the right. If teejay is soft spoken, so is Mic.
But Mic and i have something in common. We love writing. It is her passion. and who would forget Allie girl? the newest addition to the Friday group.
she was also my seatmate during training. She seems reserved at first but really jolly once you get along.Production came, since the class got so attached with one another, we decided to still continue the bonding. That's where the friday group was formed.
Friday group mainly consist of me, teejay, kei, mic and allie. we just liked the idea of bonding after a hard day at work. allie joined us after we kept on posting updates in facebook how happy we were.
friday group does a lot of talking about everything. from hearsays to dreams to plans.
just because we like eating in a restaurant doesn't mean we're brats. you have no idea how mature yet childish our conversations are.
these girls, may not be my bestfriend.. but we are good friends... for life (",)
Happy Valentine's day
It was Valentine’s Day when we first met. He was with her, and I was with him. I saw him passing me by as he assisted the girl with the red dress. They looked happy. They were smiling or even laughing at each other’s joke. A sight to behold.
I decided not to mind them for I have my own date. Stephen, a guy every woman would love to introduce to their parents for he is so generous, so humble despite his achievements and has a sense even the CEO wouldn’t mind talking to him. But for me, he is just Stephen. Plain old Stephen.
Minutes passed and there’s dessert, but before I was able to enjoy the dish, I noticed the couple was no longer a couple but what’s left was a lonely guy eating in the midst of couples who was celebrating the love day. The girl with the red dress is no longer there. She might have gone to the powder room so I thought. But minutes had passed, I’m done with my dessert and just enjoying a cup of tea with Stephen but she’s still hasn’t come out of the powder room.
Too bad. A nice looking guy was ditched at Valentine’s Day. I felt sorry for him.
Three weeks had passed. I was at the same restaurant for lunch but this time I’m no longer with Stephen. He already flew abroad to go back to medical school. We already said goodbyes because we both know, it’s no longer working for us.
Then I saw the guy again. Still on the same spot where I first saw him, alone. It made me think if it’s just plain coincidence or what but he is there.
The guy noticed that I was looking at him so he raised his wine glass and gave me a nod. I felt myself blushed and turn my eyes away. I decided to continue eating.
I was at the parking lot when he called my attention. He said his name is James. I asked him why he is introducing himself. He said he also doesn’t know why and he just wanted to approach me. I smiled at the thought. He was just a lonely guy eating at a restaurant when he noticed me. But then again, I shook off the thought. I welcomed the thought of having a new friend.
James and I instantly hit off. It’s like he came when I need a friend the most. He was able to make me smile on my gloomy days. He was able to lift up my spirit when I was down. He placed a smile on my lips when smiling was the last thing I wanted to do. In short, James was more than what I waited for.
We are having the usual dinner at a restaurant when I saw those medicines. He said those were for his mom’s vitamins. I believed him. There’s no reason for me not to believe him. But days after, I started calling his attention about him losing weight. He joked saying that was just him trying to impress me. I laughed at his craziness.
We agreed to go out of town at the end of next month because we needed some space away from our respective works. We were heading south when he pulled the car. I got worried and asked him why. He said nothing serious. I know he was not telling me the truth but I just nodded and I vowed to myself I will find it out.
He was at the bathroom taking a shower when I felt the sudden urge to go through his things. I saw the medicines, the doctor’s receipts, and those were not for his mom. Those were for him. He is sick. Very sick that I was stunned for a while, and did not notice tears rolling down my cheeks. That was he saw when he stepped out.
I wasn’t prepared. It all came too soon. After that trip, we went back and things were never the same thing again. I buried myself to work trying to convince myself that what happened was just nothing, I tried acting as normal as I could.
But I was wrong. No matter how much I try to deny it, I found myself in front of his doorstep crying asking him how I can ease the pain.
It was cancer. He got it when he was 20. And according to him, he tried to live as normal as he could until I came along. Everything was shown to me, his records, certificates and it pained the hell out of me.
I can’t do anything. I’m not God. I was never God. I never prayed that hard before. I asked Him why’s and how’s. I was the same strong willed lady when I’m with him, but when I’m not, I cry, I cry for the things we could have become. I never wanted us to end with sickness.
Three years. Three long years had passed. I am still sitting on the same spot where he first saw me. I tried to live the same events when he was still with me. Because it had been three years since he passed on but the pain still lingers on. I always look forward of spending Valentine’s with him but now, no other day can make me long this much for that one person I miss the most.
James always brings the flowers to our dates, but this time, it was me who brings the flowers. All I could do is to set them on his grave. I know James is happy; I married him before he died. That was his last promise. He will marry me, and he did. He died in his sleep and he was with me when it happened. I promised him the last thing he would see from me is a smile. I smiled, not because I’m happy but I’m accepting his fate, our fate.
Now, to a grieving heart, how does one say, Happy Valentine’s day?
I decided not to mind them for I have my own date. Stephen, a guy every woman would love to introduce to their parents for he is so generous, so humble despite his achievements and has a sense even the CEO wouldn’t mind talking to him. But for me, he is just Stephen. Plain old Stephen.
Minutes passed and there’s dessert, but before I was able to enjoy the dish, I noticed the couple was no longer a couple but what’s left was a lonely guy eating in the midst of couples who was celebrating the love day. The girl with the red dress is no longer there. She might have gone to the powder room so I thought. But minutes had passed, I’m done with my dessert and just enjoying a cup of tea with Stephen but she’s still hasn’t come out of the powder room.
Too bad. A nice looking guy was ditched at Valentine’s Day. I felt sorry for him.
Three weeks had passed. I was at the same restaurant for lunch but this time I’m no longer with Stephen. He already flew abroad to go back to medical school. We already said goodbyes because we both know, it’s no longer working for us.
Then I saw the guy again. Still on the same spot where I first saw him, alone. It made me think if it’s just plain coincidence or what but he is there.
The guy noticed that I was looking at him so he raised his wine glass and gave me a nod. I felt myself blushed and turn my eyes away. I decided to continue eating.
I was at the parking lot when he called my attention. He said his name is James. I asked him why he is introducing himself. He said he also doesn’t know why and he just wanted to approach me. I smiled at the thought. He was just a lonely guy eating at a restaurant when he noticed me. But then again, I shook off the thought. I welcomed the thought of having a new friend.
James and I instantly hit off. It’s like he came when I need a friend the most. He was able to make me smile on my gloomy days. He was able to lift up my spirit when I was down. He placed a smile on my lips when smiling was the last thing I wanted to do. In short, James was more than what I waited for.
We are having the usual dinner at a restaurant when I saw those medicines. He said those were for his mom’s vitamins. I believed him. There’s no reason for me not to believe him. But days after, I started calling his attention about him losing weight. He joked saying that was just him trying to impress me. I laughed at his craziness.
We agreed to go out of town at the end of next month because we needed some space away from our respective works. We were heading south when he pulled the car. I got worried and asked him why. He said nothing serious. I know he was not telling me the truth but I just nodded and I vowed to myself I will find it out.
He was at the bathroom taking a shower when I felt the sudden urge to go through his things. I saw the medicines, the doctor’s receipts, and those were not for his mom. Those were for him. He is sick. Very sick that I was stunned for a while, and did not notice tears rolling down my cheeks. That was he saw when he stepped out.
I wasn’t prepared. It all came too soon. After that trip, we went back and things were never the same thing again. I buried myself to work trying to convince myself that what happened was just nothing, I tried acting as normal as I could.
But I was wrong. No matter how much I try to deny it, I found myself in front of his doorstep crying asking him how I can ease the pain.
It was cancer. He got it when he was 20. And according to him, he tried to live as normal as he could until I came along. Everything was shown to me, his records, certificates and it pained the hell out of me.
I can’t do anything. I’m not God. I was never God. I never prayed that hard before. I asked Him why’s and how’s. I was the same strong willed lady when I’m with him, but when I’m not, I cry, I cry for the things we could have become. I never wanted us to end with sickness.
Three years. Three long years had passed. I am still sitting on the same spot where he first saw me. I tried to live the same events when he was still with me. Because it had been three years since he passed on but the pain still lingers on. I always look forward of spending Valentine’s with him but now, no other day can make me long this much for that one person I miss the most.
James always brings the flowers to our dates, but this time, it was me who brings the flowers. All I could do is to set them on his grave. I know James is happy; I married him before he died. That was his last promise. He will marry me, and he did. He died in his sleep and he was with me when it happened. I promised him the last thing he would see from me is a smile. I smiled, not because I’m happy but I’m accepting his fate, our fate.
Now, to a grieving heart, how does one say, Happy Valentine’s day?
Please...
i was browsing for a good book in a shop earlier when i saw a book titled... "GOD is still writing your love story.."
i smiled at the thought. it's been a year since i last heard his voice. but that doesnt mean i stopped browsing his account in friendster and not accidentally finding out he has an account in fb as well.
my friend would always tell me, that it would hurt me more if i heard any news about him. what i did instead was assured them that i can manage it. but i was wrong. it still hurt like hell.
im a great pretender. I convinced everyone that im already over him. but the truth is i was not, am not, and will never be able to forget him. the feeling is still there, you just disregard and focus to other things but once everything subsides, this melancholy feeling still attacks me..
here i am, despite my busy schedule, despite my extra activities and no matter how much i bury myself to work, i wont the fact that im still the same girl you used to know, i just need to forget that girl because situation permits.
im hoping to move on. please help me.
i smiled at the thought. it's been a year since i last heard his voice. but that doesnt mean i stopped browsing his account in friendster and not accidentally finding out he has an account in fb as well.
my friend would always tell me, that it would hurt me more if i heard any news about him. what i did instead was assured them that i can manage it. but i was wrong. it still hurt like hell.
im a great pretender. I convinced everyone that im already over him. but the truth is i was not, am not, and will never be able to forget him. the feeling is still there, you just disregard and focus to other things but once everything subsides, this melancholy feeling still attacks me..
here i am, despite my busy schedule, despite my extra activities and no matter how much i bury myself to work, i wont the fact that im still the same girl you used to know, i just need to forget that girl because situation permits.
im hoping to move on. please help me.
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