Single or Taken?

How do I say I'm single coz I haven't found the one without sounding defensive to people around me?

I have always loved being single... I mean, it's not bad as it looks like. I was born alone so I don't see any reason why being single is like a stigma to people. I like going to cinemas alone or shopping or travelling or just doing the grocery without anyone.

I don't hate the idea of ending up with someone. I guess it's me being idealistic. I wanted to enjoy singlehood so when I found THE ONE, the thing they called SINGLE BLESSEDNESS won't be a big question to me. That I was able to enjoy things alone first without worrying anything or anyone.

That's it. Maybe that's the problem. I treat it as a hassle. A worry. Which shouldn't be in the first place. Having THE ONE should be bliss. A lifetime happiness.

I wasn't born rich. Things weren't served to me in a silver platter. My mother died years ago, and life was hard for me then. Not just for me but for my family as well. Financially, and yes emotionally.

I am turning 25 this September. I'll be attending weddings of my colleagues this year. People now start asking me questions WHEN and WHY. I gained weight after college and people who haven't seen me in a while thought I had a child and worse, a miscarriage (yes, people are sometimes that mean or blunt). And some of my acquaintances would give me this strange look whenever I tell them my dream to travel somewhere solo. Sometimes even my friends, after telling me how hard it is to raise a child and be somehow miserable with their significant other, ask me when is my turn?

Again, if it wasn’t clear for them, I’m happy being single. Yes there are nights I wish I have someone to cuddle, to embrace, and to care aside from my friends and family. But being the practical that I am, I always resort to the idea that “at least I have this, and that” excuses.

People would say those are my excuses to hide my flaws. Basically, they are correct. I’m not perfect. I have the body of a GOD (BUDDHA is a GOD right?). My skin isn’t fairly white. I can’t just spend money without thinking a thousand times if I need it or if I just want it. I don’t have the prettiest hair a girl can dream of. Mine is curly so I have no choice but to deal with it.

But that is exactly my point why I chose not to have one. I know life is hard so I want to make sure my family will be settled first more than anything else. I owe them for that. I still somehow wanted to lose weight for health reasons. I want to have that feeling that I can just buy this and that without thinking if my money will be enough until my next salary. And my hair and my skin? I want to improve them not because I want to be perfect for someone but I want to improve myself.

I know people who had bunch of kids and although they are happy because they are now a family of their own. But they can’t even send these kids to the best school because their salary isn’t enough to cover for their basic needs. Some even experience eating more than twice a day because they need to budget their finances. I want to be ready.

I know girls who cried a thousand times because their guy left them. I know girls whom guys treated them as doormats. I hate to say this, but I think things won’t be like that if they didn’t allow it I the first place.

I love babies but not kids. I never liked the idea of running around following them telling them to slow down or eat this or change their diapers. I’m not prepared for that. The idea of them being makulit scares me. I might lose my patience and hit them in the end and that’s another story.

Being in a relationship isn't like “okay lang yan, for fun lang” for me, it’s a commitment. It should be a responsible commitment between two consenting adults. Both of you should be equipped emotionally, physically, and mentally. As well as having a child. You are raising a kid for heaven’s sake! As parents, you should be responsible enough before giving life, both of you should be smart enough the consequences of being unprotected. I wasn’t naïve for pre-marital sex. It does happen. But make sure you are protected if you’re not ready to be a parent. It’s easy to give life, but it takes a lot of effort to be called a parent.

I know how it’s like to go into some sort of battle without being fully equipped. 90% or more, you’ll lose. There are things better unplanned. But this one is not for me. I want to make sure if I have the ONE, he doesn’t need to ask for my schedule just for him to see me. I want to make sure my family doesn’t need to worry about money anymore. I want to make sure if I’ll have my own family, we would have answers, enough guidance to our kids. And lastly, I want to make sure they no longer need to fight for my attention because those are already finished. And that would be the day “I’m ready”….

People Of The Year 2010

I was inspired by Bianca Gonzales’ about her people of the year. So I decided to create my own list as well…

1. Friday Girls meet Kei, Mic and Teejay.

When I was still in MCC, we always go out during Fridays to keep our mind off from work. We try new restaurants, new places, new coffee shops to hang out. They are also one of the reasons why it was hard for me to leave MCC because the bond we created was surely one thing I'd miss once I leave MCC.






2. Gazelles

It is indeed true that work may suck, but you will find friends that would make you stay at work. Gazelles and I weren't close before. I even thought of resigning because of them. But one fine day and I found myself joking, laughing, and even travelling with them.







3. My Teletech Girls

I was quite depressed when I left MCC. I practically miss everyone there. From my wavemates, friday girls and even gazelles. It all changed when me and my team mates decided to eat out after shift. Then from eating it was singing and now, just like mcc, travelling or trying new things together. Some of them may leave the company, it is nice to think that we are now considering one another as friends.





4. My soul sister Rachel and best friend Wally.

These are the two people I can talk to for hours anytime and anywhere of the day. We may have our own misunderstanding from time to time but the friendship we manage to keep seven years ago is enough to keep us continuing for more.








5. My great friends Glaiza, Jonah, Majo and Che-an.

These girls are exceptional. I so love them up to the tiniest details. We have our own lives to live but with them, that doesn't mean going through things alone.







6. Byahilo Enrico Dee or Kuya Eric

is the brain behind Byahilo.com. Because of him, my interest to travel or to explore things has been enhanced greatly. I am used to travelling ever since because of my mom who worked in a travel agency. Anyways Kuya Eric has always been so passionate about travelling and discovering different festivals in the country.






7. My two sisters, Tintin and Carcar

Ate tin and Ate car are the wind beneath my wings. They, together with Tatay are one of the reasons why I work hard. I want to give them the life Mama promised. With them, the cliche applies, One for all, all for one.




8. Him

The only person who gave me stress in a huge way should be included in my People of the year list. I only have parting words for him. Just because I'm larger than the average, doesn't mean my capacity to absorb your rudeness and insults are also the same. I'm still human, so to speak. Which means, I still feel down because never in my entire life did I feel insecure nor less about my weight. But to hear those from you? I practically know you for almost half of my life and I was so stupid for letting you hurt me like that. Thank God for best friends. After a night of drinking and crying, they made me realize things which are way too better than you.






9. My Mama

It’s been eight years since I last saw her. But the pain is still there, it’s just that it is set aside and I just got used to it. It was like half of me died when she died. Too bad she’s already gone when I had my job And it pained me knowing I wasn’t able to let her experience the fruit of my labor.







10. My godsons Sebbie, Kalli and Royce.

Since I was studying I don’t easily agree to be a godmother. For me, being a godmother is being a second parent to the child not because of their financial status but the parents trust them that these people can guide their kids.

Sebbie is the son of my college barkada, Marjorie while Kalli is Asel’s son, a wavemate of mine back in MCC and Royce, my team mates youngest son. I was chosen to be their ninang because I was with their respective moms most of the time of their pregnancy.




So there… My people of the year 2010…. Enjoy reading!

friends

sometimes in life, there are are bonds formed that can never be broken...

sometimes, you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what...

maybe, you'll find it in a spouse, and celebrate it with your dream wedding...

but there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime ...

that one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along

in my case, I didn't have one.. not two but four friends who managed to keep up with me seven years ago.. Four friends with whom we may have lost contact with, but still the bond is still there...

thank you bestfriend wally, my soul sister rachel, my great friend jona, and my girl buddy glaiza...

and for majo and che an... super thanks for also being there for me despite your busy schedules and different priorities you have proven we are friends for keeps...

I love you mga tol ♥

Cafe Breton

Just wanted to share with you a good restaurant I recently visited together with my officemates... Cafe Breton.

Cafe Breton is a european restaurant that also serves continental food. I heard from a friend that they serve one of the best cappucinos in town. It isn't strong nor watery and in comparison to other coffee shops, theirs is less expensive.

The moment we went in, even though they're about to take the last orders, staffs were still courteous enough to offer us their specialties and even managed to take our picture.

Me and glaiza, ordered La Pinay. a crepe made perfectly with mangoes inside with a scoop of mango ice cream. It may sound so plain but to tell you, it wasn't maumay nor too sweet! just like my kind of crepe...




















our other officemates ordered tarzan, it consist of their signature crepe, plus a dash of milk, and it smelled so heaven!























all in all, I enjoyed the stay there even though it was just less than a couple of minutes... 2 thumbs up for the restaurant! ♥♥♥ (yours truly with officemates, glaiza and anna)

100 Truths about me

I have been a fan of surveys... Here's the longest I managed to answer so far... (",)

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: Coffee

2. Last phone call: Rachel

3. Last text message: Ate Car

4. Last song you listened to: I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you

5. Last time you cried: last monday sa movie house



HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes

7. Been cheated on: No

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: not really

9. Lost someone special: YES

10. Been depressed: A looot..lately ::(

11. Been drunk and threw up: yes. but did not threw up.



LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. Babyblue

13. Canary Yellow

14. Black



THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend: Yes

16. Laughed until you cried: Yes.

17. Met someone who changed you: no

18. Found out who your true friends were: Yes

19. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.

20. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes.

21. How many people on your friends list do you know in person: All of them

22. How many kids do you want to have: 2 (1 boy 1 girl)

23. Do you have any pets: Yes, a fish

24. Do you want to change your name: No

25. What did you do for your last birthday: went to tagaytay with my friends

26. What time did you wake up today: 12nn

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: eating pares

28. Name something you CANNOT wait for: LOVE

29. Last time you saw your Mother: seven years ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: re-live and make my mom the happiest person on earth

31. What are you listening to right now: still the same song

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope

33. What's getting on your nerves right now: wala pa naman



CONTINUATION:

34. Most visited web page: facebook, blogspot, and twitter

35. Whats your real name: Angeles C. Nullas

36. Nicknames: Angie/Anj and for those who don't know me, ANGEL

37. Relationship Status: SINGLE

38. Zodiac sign: Virgo

39. Male or female: Female

40. Birth Month: September

41. High School: Southeastern College

42. Current Workplace: Teletech Makati

43. Hair color: Black

44. Long or short: Errr, medium length?!

45. Height: 5'1''

46. Do you have a crush on someone?: No

47: What do you like about yourself: im a very practical person

48. Piercings: ears

49. Tattoos: is thinking of getting one..

50. Righty or lefty: right



FIRSTS :

51. First surgery: none

52. First piercing: baby

53. First best friend: Mama

54. First sport you joined: Chess

55. First vacation: Iloilo and Bacolod

56. First pair of trainers: Can't remember



RIGHT NOW:

57. Eating: just finished

58. Drinking: errr, none

59. I'm about to: Glee Episode six season 2

60. Listening to: Ariel Photograph

61. Waiting for: no one



YOUR FUTURE :

62. Want kids?: Yes

63. Get Married?: Not sure

64. Career?: Move UP or move to another country, lol



WHICH IS BETTER :

65. Lips or eyes: Eyes

66. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or Younger: Same age up to 3 yrs older..haha

69. Romantic or spontaneous: Romanticly spontaneous <3

70. Nice stomach or nice arms: err..nice arms

72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

73. Trouble maker or hesitant: hmmm...about to be a troublemaker..haha



HAVE YOU EVER :

74. Kissed a stranger: No

76. Lost glasses/contacts: No.

78. Broken someone's heart?: Yes

79. Been arrested: No

80. Turned someone down: Yes.

81. Cried when someone died: Yes.

82. Fallen for a friend?: no.



DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

83. Yourself: Of course!

84. Miracles: YES.

85. Love at first sight: no

86. Heaven: Yes

87. Santa Claus: no since i turned 9

88. Kiss on the first date: why not?!

89. Angels: Yes



ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

90. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No

91. Did you sing today? Yes and it rained shortly after, haha

92. Ever cheated on somebody? Nope

93. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? 4th year high where everything started..

94. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? Anawangin Days with Gazelles

95. Are you afraid of falling in love? Hell No

96. Posting this as 100 truths? Yeah.

97. When was the last time you lied? Hmm.. I don't know, haha

98. Are you usually late, early or right on time? early for work and almost on time on gimmicks and gathering

99. Would you give your life to save someone else's? It depends..

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: No

TheSweetestAngel: how do you say happy valentine's day to a grieving heart?

TheSweetestAngel: how do you say happy valentine's day to a grieving heart?

how do you say happy valentine's day to a grieving heart?

It was Valentine’s Day when we first met. He was with her, and I was with him. I saw him passing me by as he assisted the girl with the red dress. They looked happy. They were smiling or even laughing at each other’s joke. A sight to behold.

I decided not to mind them for I have my own date. Stephen, a guy every woman would love to introduce to their parents for he is so generous, so humble despite his achievements and has a sense even the CEO wouldn’t mind talking to him. But for me, he is just Stephen. Plain old Stephen.

Minutes passed and there’s dessert, but before I was able to enjoy the dish, I noticed the couple was no longer a couple but what’s left was a lonely guy eating in the midst of couples who was celebrating the love day. The girl with the red dress is no longer there. She might have gone to the powder room so I thought. But minutes had passed, I’m done with my dessert and just enjoying a cup of tea with Stephen but she’s still hasn’t come out of the powder room.

Too bad. A nice looking guy was ditched at Valentine’s Day. I felt sorry for him.

Three weeks had passed. I was at the same restaurant for lunch but this time I’m no longer with Stephen. He already flew abroad to go back to medical school. We already said goodbyes because we both know, it’s no longer working for us.

Then I saw the guy again. Still on the same spot where I first saw him, alone. It made me think if it’s just plain coincidence or what but he is there.

The guy noticed that I was looking at him so he raised his wine glass and gave me a nod. I felt myself blushed and turn my eyes away. I decided to continue eating.

I was at the parking lot when he called my attention. He said his name is James. I asked him why he is introducing himself. He said he also doesn’t know why and he just wanted to approach me. I smiled at the thought. He was just a lonely guy eating at a restaurant when he noticed me. But then again, I shook off the thought. I welcomed the thought of having a new friend.

James and I instantly hit off. It’s like he came when I need a friend the most. He was able to make me smile on my gloomy days. He was able to lift up my spirit when I was down. He placed a smile on my lips when smiling was the last thing I wanted to do. In short, James was more than what I waited for.

We are having the usual dinner at a restaurant when I saw those medicines. He said those were for his mom’s vitamins. I believed him. There’s no reason for me not to believe him. But days after, I started calling his attention about him losing weight. He joked saying that was just him trying to impress me. I laughed at his craziness.

We agreed to go out of town at the end of next month because we needed some space away from our respective works. We were heading south when he pulled the car. I got worried and asked him why. He said nothing serious. I know he was not telling me the truth but I just nodded and I vowed to myself I will find it out.

He was at the bathroom taking a shower when I felt the sudden urge to go through his things. I saw the medicines, the doctor’s receipts, and those were not for his mom. Those were for him. He is sick. Very sick that I was stunned for a while, and did not notice tears rolling down my cheeks. That was he saw when he stepped out.

I wasn’t prepared. It all came too soon. After that trip, we went back and things were never the same thing again. I buried myself to work trying to convince myself that what happened was just nothing, I tried acting as normal as I could.

But I was wrong. No matter how much I try to deny it, I found myself in front of his doorstep crying asking him how I can ease the pain.

It was cancer. He got it when he was 20. And according to him, he tried to live as normal as he could until I came along. Everything was shown to me, his records, certificates and it pained the hell out of me.

I can’t do anything. I’m not God. I was never God. I never prayed that hard before. I asked Him why’s and how’s. I was the same strong willed lady when I’m with him, but when I’m not, I cry, I cry for the things we could have become. I never wanted us to end with sickness.

Three years. Three long years had passed. I am still sitting on the same spot where he first saw me. I tried to live the same events when he was still with me. Because it had been three years since he passed on but the pain still lingers on. I always look forward of spending Valentine’s with him but now, no other day can make me long this much for that one person I miss the most.

James always brings the flowers to our dates, but this time, it was me who brings the flowers. All I could do is to set them on his grave. I know James is happy; I married him before he died. That was his last promise. He will marry me, and he did. He died in his sleep and he was with me when it happened. I promised him the last thing he would see from me is a smile. I smiled, not because I’m happy but I’m accepting his fate, our fate.


Now, to a grieving heart, how does one say, Happy Valentine’s day?